True Blood: 3 Episodes Left

Okay, I just finished watching the most recent episode of True Blood on HBO…and OMG, I am so excited with how this season is going that I can’t even move my fingers fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. Seriously?!?!

After the season with that crazy lady who was having sex orgies and Tara fell in love, I thought that storyline was ridiculous, but no, True Blood has out True Blood-ed itself. This season has seriously tested our loyalty to certain characters and has completely made us root for characters that have turned us off in previous seasons. Example #1: PAM. I officially love her. Example #2: BILL. WTF is he doing?!?

I never thought I would say these words, but I am on Team Eric. I’m sorry Bill, but you are showing a side of yourself that I frankly don’t care for. And with only three episodes left, Bill has a lot to prove, as does the show itself.

Below is literally (okay I might have added additional thoughts I had) a text conversation that my bestie and I had while watching True Blood. Disclaimer: we are two of the same people – she is slightly funnier than me, so yea, sorry if it’s hard to follow. In addition, she actually read the Sookie Stackhouse books.

DB: Are you watching?

JB: Yep, waiting for it to start.

DB: Pam and Tara…loving it!

JB: Right! I love Pam!

JB: Do you think Pam and Tara will have a lesbian tryst?

DB: Possibly, but I think Pam stays away from fish human because their blood is fishy.

DB: “Just ‘cause we drank a bitch together doesn’t makes us Oprah and Gale.”

JB: Hahahaha I giggled to myself at the one!!

JB: I don’t like new Bill.

DB: Pussy!

DB: Me either! I feel like he’s playing a game, but I don’t like it.

JB: Still love Eric though.

DB: Yeah, I’m on it.

JB: Everyone gets on the Eric train at some point

DB: I may be late but I’m enjoying the party

JB: About time! LOL

DB: Eric trusts Bill too easily here. Poor choice.

JB: I know, when did Eric become the good guy?

DB: I like what they are doing with Jason.

JB: But I’m not a fan of Jessica this season.

DB: I thought they were going to kill her off, but now I’m not so sure.

JB: Sookie bores me. (yawn!)

DB: I know! Sookie is more annoying than Nora.

DB: Gran totally set Sookie up for failure. Do you think Lafayette’s language translates into death language?

JB: I don’t think Lafayette’s language translates to anyone! LOL!

DB: OMG! WTF is up with Sookie?

JB: So is Sally Mae or whatever the f*ck her name is Lilith?

DB: I think when Bill is “high” he sees Sookie as Lilith? I don’t know.

DB: Patrick is going shit crazy

JB: Wasn’t he always crazy? lol

JB: Oh Jason!! So pretty

DB: I wonder what dead pussy smells like?

JB: Ummm…Hmm…Rotten?

JB: She’s scary!

DB: Damn! She’s crazy!

DB: That frying pan came out of no where

JB: No, it came from ugly bitch!

DB: Yes, President Obama is in this fictional town – that would be a crazy cameo.

JB: Obama must be so proud right now

DB: Do you think Mrs. Obama watches and is like, “Look, hunny! You’re on True Blood!”

DB: Sheriff Dearborne = Dragon

JB: OMG!

DB: Yes, Andy, yes

DB: The Boots!!! I see the light bulbs go off.

JB: They don’t seem the most stealth lol

DB: Hoyt is going to die, isn’t he?

JB: Hoyt can die – he annoys me

DB: This could be the end of Terry :(

JB: I don’t think so

DB: OMG! Arlene

DB: Arlene is such a badass here

DB: Patrick is totally lying about his family here to Terry

JB: In the clutch! She’s the bitch to have around.

JB: She should have just killed him!

JB: That pencil is bad ass! He’d kill Terry without a second thought.

JB: I hate that Eric is all about Nora.

DB: Right?!?! Btw: Hate Nora!

JB: Same

DB: She’s annoying and slightly crazy…

JB: <3 Eric

DB: That blood is like acid for vamps

JB: I think its fairy blood.

DB: Weird thing with Sookie. What is happening?

JB: I don’t know :(

JB: This shit is crazy!

DB: Literally bananas!

JB: I want one of those bedroom sexy robes.

JB: See she thinks Hoyt’s a pussy as well.

DB: Hahah she probably engulfs Bud when they have sex

JB: I bet she’s on top.

DB: Eww! Visual = Gross

DB: Eww

DB: OMG Poor Bud

JB: Run, fat bitch, run!

DB: Didn’t Patrick think Terry would do it?

JB: That storyline was….Different lol.

DB: I kind of like Russell and that guy together

JB: OMG!

DB: Well, that’s girl dead

JB:LOL

JB: Bill drank the Kool-aid

DB: I hate Bill so much! I hate him!

DB: Didn’t Bill ever read the Bro-Code?

JB: Apparently not!!! He’s influenced by the pussy.

JB: And here comes the war between Bill and Eric.

DB: I’m actually angry right now

JB: Bill has always been easily swayed…Pussy.

DB: So annoyed. And totally over this fairy stuff with Sookie. Lame.

DB: Almost on the verge of not wanting to watch this anymore

JB: What?!? You know the last 3 are going to be soo good cuz there’s that twist we have been waiting for all season.

DB: If it doesn’t involve Bill staking that bitch then I don’t want to watch

DB: I’m going to watch. I’m as big of a pussy as Bill. Or maybe someone will destroy that blood or Russell will stake that bitch.

JB: You know she’s gonna die!! I hope Eric bitch slaps Bill as well.

DB: Oh, or has sex with Sookie in front of him and forces him to watch.

JB: HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! Even better.

DB: I think there’s going to be a power struggle between some of these vamps and bitches

JB: RIGHT! Cuz we knew it was coming!

DB: Yeah, everyone thinks they’re the one.

JB: I think Bill will kill Sallymae

DB: He better

And, in a nutshell that was our take on the most recent episode and what’s to come.

Didn’t make sense? Then you haven’t been watching :)