The Many Forms of Rejection
Being rejected is probably the worst feeling when it comes to dating. We tend to blame ourselves and nit-pick why he just wasn’t that into us. So, you spend weeks, months and years in the dating scene and you finally meet your prince charming- YES! THE REJECTION IS OVER!! Well at least that’s what I thought.
But no, hold on just one minute. Now we get rejected for sex? If I’d known this would happen, I would have stayed in the dating scene, where at least I was getting some action. No one ever told me “Hey, wait until you’re in along term relationship, you will be rejected again, and this time it’s sexual.”
After watching a recent Khloe and Lamar episode (which Harper wrote about in an earlier post) I was happy to know I wasn’t the only girl out there being rejected by her guy. For those of you who don’t watch the show, here is the break down of what happened. Khloe wanted to keep her relationship sexy so she redesigned one of the rooms in her house to look like a sex chamber. She purchased lube, sex toys and even a sex swing! Khloe really went the extra mile into making this a special room for her and Lamar and when Khloe finally brought Lamar up into the room he told her he just wasn’t feeling it and only wanted to snuggle. I was watching this with my boyfriend and I gave him a dirty look as if it was him rejecting Khloe.
This came up in conversation while talking to a friend last night and she admitted that she is experiencing the exact same thing. At the beginning of their relationship they would have sex multiple times a day, and this went on for the first year of their relationship. Now, they only have sex once every few weeks and when she tries to initiate sex she gets rejected. So this is the question- why do our boyfriends reject us when we initiate sex?
- A lot of it has to do with the stress from work, especially a stressful job involving finance,
law or sales. It usually has nothing to do with us even though we think it does.
- Another reason he might be rejecting you could be a performance issue. Testosterone levels can drop and will cause a low libido, maybe its time for him to get a physical.
- He might not know the effect it’s having on you. Have you talked to him about it? It will never be resolved without communicating your feelings effectively.
Hopefully this advice will help you if you’re going through this too. Remember, you’re not alone, we all have faced rejection at one point or another. The key is not to ignore the situation, but to deal with it head on. Good luck!
