The Guide to Having Safe Unprotected Sex

What’s worth risking more—your safety or your orgasm?

Though having protected sex, or wearing condoms during vaginal intercourse to be more specific, can still be pleasurable, according to a study done in 2007, it does appear that although both men and women find condoms to reduce pleasure, men do appear to value the sensations of unprotected sex more.

This got me thinking—how often do we as women, sacrifice our health and safety for the sake of having more pleasure-filled sex? Though we as a planet may never know the answer, I do believe it’s important to discuss when and if, there is ever a time in which being unprotected (condomless) is acceptable.

At the sake of sounding preachy, I always knew the importance of using protection during sex, even as a young and virginal sixteen year old. It was the result of many health class lessons juxtaposed by having friends who ended up pregnant during high school. Though I had yet to actually experience sex, I was always set on reminding my friends to use protection—condoms, contraceptive pills, whatever it took to ensure their bodies wouldn’t reproduce or contract a nasty disease. They would often times justify their choices of going bareback by saying things like “It feels better,” “He didn’t come inside me,” and even “When you’re in the moment, you just don’t think about those things.”

I always rolled my eyes and promised myself to never have unprotected sex, unless the circumstances were right.  But what does right mean?

Well, it’s all about circumstances.

I decided to go condomless a few weeks into my relationship. Actually, I retract that statement—we, as in my boyfriend and myself decided together that we would no longer use condoms except for certain occasions. Many things factored into our choice, here are a couple of things that you should consider before you decide not to wrap it:

Marital Status: Are you single and hooking up with lots of different people? Married? Or are you in a monogamous relationship? If you’re single and having sex with new people then you should definitely be protected, especially if they’re people you’re just meeting. If you’re involved with someone, before you trust them with all of you, make sure about a couple of things. Read on below.

Negative or Positive? Is the partner you’re committed to clean? I don’t mean tidy, I mean free of STDs. Though many of them have cures, you certainly don’t want to risk contracting anything, especially if it’s more serious and permanent diseases like HIV, Herpes and even HPV. Get tested before deciding to go bare. Go to your local free clinic or Planned Parenthood to get tested now.

Birth Control Plan: If both of you are clean then you need to figure out a plan as to how to prevent pregnancy (unless you want to become pregnant.) There are various methods, the most common for women is birth control pills, which can be prescribed to you by your gynecologist. There are options for men as well—talk to your doctors to find out what’s best for you.

Sexual health is incredibly important, for both men and women. Sex can be wonderful, but you should never feel pressured to go condomless for the sake of your partner’s pleasure. It is a decision that should not be made lightly. Make sure to think about it, talk to your partner and your doctor. Then you’ll be ready to have all sorts of sex, with the protection of a condom or without one.