Thanks, But No Thanks: A Plea From a Single Girl

Friends. They mean well most of the time. You’re there for each other through all the ups and downs of life. They give you advice with your career, relationships, family, and personal issues you know only they could understand and give you some sound, reasonable guidance. However, there is one category when sometimes they try but you have to look at them with an expression that says, “Really?! Really?!?!”

That category is trying to set up your single friends. Some people have a “gift” or a “talent” for match making, most of them have evidence to back up their claims. Successfully setting up ONE friend, ONE time, doesn’t qualify you as the next Patti Stanger.

Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean everyone around you has to be in one too. We, as singles, understand the excitement of planning double dates and wine tastings, but we need you coupled people to stop getting ahead of yourselves. We appreciate the love and support or sometimes unnecessary pity and concern about our single status, but unless we specifically ask you for that set up then you just need to stop trying. No one likes a forced, awkward situation where neither of you are interested. It is not pleasant. And could result in a death stare or a drunken scene – it’s your choice about how this could go down.

We’re your friends. The reason we moved away from our parents was to yes, gain independence, but also to stop the meddling and harassment about our love lives. When you ask and we tell you, don’t look at us like we are a lost puppy that needs rescuing. If we need help, don’t worry you will be the first one we call when we want to be set up. We are not your side project or some charity case. We can get our own dates. So again, thanks, but no thanks.

Also, when forcing a set up onto your friend, know her type and don’t publicly announce, and I’m quoting here, “She wants you to put your “p” in her “v.” It might sound familiar; it might sound farfetched, but never doubt a coupled girl on a mission, especially when alcohol is involved. When we politely  ask you to stop, we aren’t playing hard to get or being shy. We are seriously not interested. You’ve seen the movie or read the book, correct?

There are exceptions. There are those stubborn single girls who say they are not interested, but we all know they are. Or they get embarrassed by a very public set up, but they end up clicking with that person. But, honestly, the likelihood of that happening is 1 in every 500,000. So, again, you’re not Patti Stanger. Please stop.

So, from one single girl to the rest of you coupled girls, again, we really do appreciate you’re wanting this double date, double vacation planning thing to work out, but right now, we’re okay. Especially with him, because no, it’s not going to happen. So stop embarrassing us and let’s change the focus to something less significant like celebrity gossip. How would you like it if we constantly brought up the baby or marriage questions? Not as fun? For us it is. And trust me, when we do meet that special someone, you will be the first to know. We can still be friends, just no match making right now. Again, thanks but we got it. XOXO.