Relationships: Time to Spend Some Time Apart

When you’re in a new relationship, it’s normal and expected to become enamored with the person you’re with. It’s as if some kind of brainwash occurs and all you can think about is that other person and being with him or her (some people call this ‘brainwash’ falling in love). The time that you spend together with your significant other feels like it’s going by so quickly because you spend it with one another talking, laughing and kissing. It’s like you can never get enough of one another.

Although it’s good to revel in your new relationship, can spending too much time together be more harmful than beneficial?

This thought popped into my head one day when Wesley was walking me to the train station and hesitantly asked me if it was okay for him to hang out with his friends the next day. I immediately stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk and told him, “Of course it is. You don’t ever have to ask me permission to hang out with your friends.”

I realized then that Wesley and I had been spending so much time together and making one another our top priority, that we were neglecting the other aspects of our lives that were just as important—friends, family, alone time.  One of my biggest fears had kind of come true—I had become the kind of girlfriend who wants to spend more time with her man than with anyone else. Granted, it’s not that I don’t’ want to spend time with other people, but it’s just so easy to get wrapped up in the arms of someone that you care about and forget about the rest of the world.

If you’re anything like me, then you know it’s important to make time for everyone—including your special someone. Here are some ideas for splitting up your schedule so that you can spend some quality time with friends, family and your loved ones:

1.  Get everyone together. If you are feeling scattered and don’t have enough time in your schedule to have individual dates with all of the people you love, then get them all together in one place! It’ll be fun to hang out with everyone at once and have them interact with one another. Pick a delicious restaurant, your favorite bar or have a potluck and invite everybody over. It will make for a splendid time!

2. Spend time by yourself. This might sound like an obvious thing, but I don’t mean just hang alone when everyone else is busy or when you’re bored, I mean make time for yourself and what you love to do.  It’s important to focus your energy on you and something that feeds your soul. That may be running, writing or simply taking a bath. Find time for you and you’ll be more equipped to find time for everyone else.

3. Date night. Try setting up a date-night with your loved-one that you can count on every week. It can be a night where you stay in and watch your favorite TV shows or where you go out to a nice restaurant. Regardless, it’s a night dedicated to the two of you.

4. Girl’s night. Or if you have a bunch of guy friends (unlike me), then a friend’s night will do too!  Go to your fave bar, go get a mani-pedi, have brunch together—anything that will allow you to spend time with your friends! They will be happy to see you and you will appreciate spending time with them.

It’s easy to forget that the rest of the world exists, especially when you’re falling in love. But you mustn’t forget that other people love you too and want to be a part of your life, and that you want to be a part of theirs as well. It’s good to have a day (or several) away from the person that gives you butterflies—it allows you to relax and refresh and it reminds you that there’s more to the world than just your relationship. I won’t lie—it’s hard to manage your schedule and give everyone a great amount of time, but just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

Remember, distance doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. In fact, I hear that sometimes, it makes the heart grow fonder.