Knowing When To Move On: Cheating is Not the Answer
The Cheater. Probably the most despised person when it comes to relationships. When I was younger, I was that person. I was dating a girl that I no longer wanted to be with. It was hard to come to terms with it. Out of fear of being alone and the comfort of always having someone by my side, I stayed.
At first it was flirting, then it was texting, and the next thing you know, you’re jumping from emotional cheating, to the real deal. I would always rationalize it to myself as a mistake I would not repeat. “I still love my girlfriend,” I told myself, “I was very drunk when it happened,” “It was a mistake.” Lo and behold, a year later the relationship finally ended. After having time to sit on it, I called my ex up on the phone and apologized for what a horrible boyfriend I was. “I don’t trust any men because of you,” she told me. I was stunned. There was no way to rectify what I had done, but I vowed that I would never repeat my mistake. Let’s just say karma is a bitch.
Jump forward a few years. I met the most amazing girl. Over the few years that we dated we had our share of problems. Things weren’t always perfect – not even close. I wasn’t always a perfect boyfriend, but I still thought she was “the one.” One summer I went abroad to work and we were apart for nearly three months. When I got back the relationship fell apart, and I found out that she had cheated on me. It wasn’t a drunken mistaken; she really liked this new guy. I was crushed. I know I was partially to blame for how we grew apart, but I still couldn’t believe it. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this person. Everything changed.
Being cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that the person you are dating is no longer the same person and no longer feels the same way about you. If she had just walked away it wouldn’t all be so hard. This is why you should never stay in a relationship just because it’s comfortable, easy, or you’re afraid to be alone. If you have problems with someone, you need to walk away, because when someone cheats it changes everything. If I hadn’t cheated, my ex probably wouldn’t despise me. We could’ve been friends maybe… in time. The same goes for my relationship that followed. You can’t be mad at someone for not wanting to be with you, but the betrayal that comes with cheating is unforgivable.
Cheating isn’t about the person you are with. “Oh, I won’t cheat on the next one,” so many people tell themselves, “this relationship was different.” It’s about you. It’s about the type of person you want to be. I’m sure a lot of people reading this have cheated, are cheating right now, or might cheat in the future. Next time, JUST DON’T. Be a better person, and have the courage to know when to walk away.
