Khloe’s Chronicles: Back to School

This photo describes my sentiments perfectly.  No, not the mom jumping for joy.  The kids drowning in self-pity about the most dreaded day of the year: the first day of school.   After a summer-long hiatus filled with beach trips, fruity cocktails, and guilty pleasure reading, I survived the first week of work.  Two professional development days and two school days later, I am already in my countdown to June.  Only 178 days to go.

I know it is difficult for most non- teachers to understand, and don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do, but having such a long break makes it that much harder to get back into the swing of things.  Here’s a recap of one hour of my week to give you a little insight into how the first week went, and why I was longing for sun, sand and serenity.

Like last year, and against my better judgment, I decided to do lunch duty once a week to earn some extra cash, and also because it allows me to spend some time with the littlest people in the building: the kinders.  I do love this because it makes for some great stories; however, it is quite the challenge to look over 23 5-year-olds.

I started this week’s lunch hour by getting debriefed by the kindergarten teacher regarding students to keep an eye on, peanut allergies, and new procedures.  Less than five minutes had gone by since she left when the following occurred simultaneously:

  • One little boy, who could not sit still, and apparently does not know proper kindergarten etiquette, ran out of the room and down the hallway.  After wrangling him back, he decided he did not want to eat the pizza because “it’s not a triangle.”
  • A little girl, whom the teacher had warned me about, came over crying.  Twice.  The first time about the fact that she was worried about the afternoon fire drill.  The second about missing her mommy.  Taking the teacher’s “tough love” advice, I proceeded to tell her that she would never see her mommy again that she would get to see her mommy when school was over, but it wasn’t time yet, and first she had to finish her lunch so that she could go outside to play with her new friends.  This seemed to satiate her, at least temporarily.
  • Third, and here’s the kicker, another little girl in a wrap dress asked me to use the bathroom.  When she returned, she came back holding the straps to her dress, asking me to tie it.  I explained that rather than taking it off, like she explained she did, she should have just pulled the dress up.  Then, as my new friend turned around, she revealed a very unpleasant surprise, bringing me very close to catastrophe.  Somehow, some way, she had managed to return from the bathroom with what should have remained in the depths of the sewage system!  The very straps that I was mere centimeters from touching were sprinkled with poop!  As quickly as I could, I scooted her to the nurse’s office, who awaited her with latex gloves and a new outfit.  Crisis averted!

Needless to say, I was very glad it was Friday!  As soon as I got home, I poured myself a tall glass of wine, and decided to take the weekend off from my teacher duties of planning, grading, and pinning.  Now Monday has rolled around again, leaving room for more outrageous stories that I will be sure to share in my next Khloe’s Chronicles article.



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