Guidos and Guidettes! The Infamous Eight are back at Seaside Heights for their 6th and final season. The public’s response to this news varies greatly, ranging from disgust to relief to absolute indifference. I, for one, am not ashamed to say that I was very excited to hear that the gorilla juiceheads were coming back for one more season of debauchery. I have been a shamelessly devout JS fan since Season 1 and while I don’t expect anything more than the usual excessive partying and tequila-fueled drama, I am still looking forward to watching the absurdity unravel for one more season.
The reason I love watching Jersey Shore is the same reason I love most reality shows: people behaving ridiculously and drinking inhuman amounts of alcohol. That is literally all you need for any good reality show; once you have that, the rest will work itself out. Much to my despair, Jersey Shore didn’t deliver the trashy extremes in episode one for which I had hoped and came up a little too tame for my taste. Let’s do a little recap of Episode 1:
EXPECTATIONS: Ron-Ron Juice and shots, shots, shots!
REALITY: Sober roommates lingering around the shore house without much to say.
I don’t know what it is, but the chemistry is just not there between the roommates this season. The only ones that expressed any form of genuine enthusiasm were Pauly D, Vinny, and Deena. Even then, the boys’ excitement was geared more towards each other, and Deena quickly became a downer when she started bawling because she hadn’t seen her boyfriend for two days (Come ON, girl). I don’t care if they’re hating or loving each other, but the gang has got to step it up.
EXPECTATIONS: A ridiculous, stumbling, and hilarious Snooki.
REALITY: An overly hormonal, whiny, and grouchy pregnant woman.
Snooki’s shrill and fussy nature was tolerable in past seasons because, in exchange, you got drunken antics and sloppy stumbling. The once lovable meatball has taken on quite the diva persona as the show has progressed and her current state of pregnancy has only heightened her sense of entitlement. I’m actually enjoying Sam more than Snooki this season and that’s not saying a whole lot.
EXPECTATIONS: “The Situation” to be waist-deep in drama, assuming his role as the house instigator
REALITY: A post-rehab, clean, sober, and awkwardly friendly Mike
There was a little shocker at the beginning of Jersey Shore this season as Mike admitted his addiction to painkillers and his recent attempts at recovery. He entered the house completely clean and plans to abstain from drugs and alcohol while he resides in the house. This is great news for The Situation and it definitely helps to explain some of his erratic behavior in the past. However, and call me selfish, the new sober Mike isn’t half as entertaining and his desperate attempts at forgiveness are just exhausting and awkward.
While the season has started out a little dryer than usual, I’m still going to give the roommates a chance and keep watching. However, if I don’t start seeing more shots and Jersey Turnpiking, I may just have to say “Arrivederci!” a little early.
If you haven’t checked in with the Shore this season yet, take a peek at the trailer here: