Every dork that’s ever been at the end of the high school social spectrum, dreams that once high school is over, karma will kick in and all the popular jocks and mean girls in high school will finally get what’s coming to them. Who hasn’t dreamed that one day those snotty bitches who gave you a hard time about your looks will end up harassed cashiers at the Dollar Tree. I know, you don’t say those things. You’re a nice person. But I know you’re thinking it in your deep, dark and secret heart of hearts.
It’s been years since high school. People have grown up. Grown old. Had children. Life has been graciously kind to my old classmates. Everyone seems to be fairly successful in their own paths. All of those old resentments now give way to more charitable feelings and fond memories of days in the way-back. We all went through those years together, after all. Last year, I got a surprise television reminder of those times. One of my high school classmates, JP Rosenbaum, competed on the Bachelorette for the heart of Ashley Hebert, a former contestant on the previous Bachelor. I watched the episodes, painfully and voyeuristically, to see if the guy I remembered was the same.
Of course, even as I remember feeling like a half-retarded hyena in high school around him, I still rooted for him. More importantly, he’s MY high school popular kid. I watched all the dates crossing my fingers and it never crossed my mind that any of the other guys even had a chance. Yeah, and the exotic Asian locales in each episode didn’t hurt either. Although I wasn’t thrilled by the show’s storyline, fashioning JP as the older, steady and financially stable guy to Ashley’s fluttery, easily unnerved young girl-with-no-common-sense-in-need-of-a-good-man, I felt I had to bear it to show my support. I stayed a loyal viewer even if I COULD NOT stand the show’s cheese factor.
Obviously, if you’ve been following the Bachelor franchise, you’d know JP and Ashley are engaged and have been for ages. What you might not know is that their wedding will be televised on ABC this December! (I think) If you read US Magazine or check out Wetpaint’s website, you’d already know this hot tip. I’m sort of excited and sort of disappointed. In a way, I’m glad they’re taking the plunge on the ‘fairy-tale’ wedding on national television but somehow it feels anti-climactic. No one will look at these two as attractive sex-symbol types once they’re married. No one will be interested in them any longer. Once the happy ending happens, that’s the end of it. That’s why it’s called an “ending.” They’ll slip into the anonymous oblivion that we all seem to inhabit. Is that good? Is that bad? I wish them great happiness. Good luck, high school jock. Wherever you are and for whatever will happen. I’m sure good things will.