Is Being Scared Preventing You From Being Happy?

While watching the season finale of the critical acclaimed series “Girls” on HBO, there was a scene between Hannah and Adam that got me thinking.

First, the scene:

Adam and Hannah are having a fight in the middle of the street. I will not spoil how they got there so, you will have to watch it. And you should because it was definitely the best episode of the season.

Adam asks Hannah what her problem is.

Hannah’s response, “I’m scared, okay?”

Adam tells her, “You don’t have the right to be.”

Hannah claims to be more scared person alive.

(Insert some witty dialogue here)

Then Adam says, “Is this the game? You chase me like I’m in the f**king Beatles for six months, and then when I finally get comfortable with things you wanna shrug?”

The scene ends with Adam getting hit by a car. No, seriously that’s how it ended.

Anyway, back to the point at hand. It got me thinking about being scared. Do we run away from life when we get scared? We may take chances or fight for want we want but, when it seems out of our hands do we freak out?

It’s hard to admit when we’re scared. Most women want to be seen as strong and confident and, in the workplace, we probably are. We know what we want or want to achieve and get it. We see the daily challenges as opportunities to spread our wings and show those higher-ups that we are a rock star on the rise. But in relationships it can be a complete 180.

The problem might be that we a dream of what that perfect relationship would be like with that special someone and when, it seems accelerating at a much faster paced that we expected we freak out slightly. Well, in Adam and Hannah’s case that’s true.  I think we are scared because we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in a very intimate way. And that’s scary.

I am sure for some women it’s easy to throw themselves fearlessly into a relationship.  However, myself included, those of us who have felt heartbreak tend to be more timid. We love the chase and when things turn towards the serious sometimes it blindsides us especially, since we tend to find guys difficult to read.

Is feeling scared our body’s way of telling us we aren’t ready? Or is it just because it’s uncharted territory? If we allow this feeling to control our lives, then will we ever be happy?

I would hope that as women, we could control that feeling and use it as motivation. There are events in life that are going to freak us out. There’s marriage, pregnancy, being a mom, and growing up, all worthy of scaring us. And they should, there new and different.

In the end, being scared can prevent you from being happy…if you let it.