Being in a relationship with a male has given me further insight (just a little bit) into how their species works. Of course, each man is his own individual and all of them differ greatly—but there are some things that you learn about men as you become romantically involved with them.
As I’ve gotten closer to Wesley over the past few weeks and have spent more time with him, I’ve come to notice a couple of things. Of course, I’ve noticed the way he bites his nails sometimes, how he constantly changes songs in the middle of cuddling and how he carries a book everywhere he goes. But the more time I spend with Wesley, the more I learn bout him and the more amazing I realize he is. It’s the same for everyone who’s in a new relationship, you learn about the other person on a daily basis.
Here are a couple of key things that you learn about a person as your relationship evolves and grows:
1. Personality: There is no doubt that you begin dating someone due to how attracted you are to them physically and to their personality. But as you get to know a person, you learn the little kinks and quirks that make up their personality. Is this person a control freak, or are they flexible? Are they outspoken and social or more on the quiet side? Do they like going out or do they prefer to stay in? These are things that you navigate as you hang out with your special someone—and both of your personalities can be complimentary…or they can clash.
2. Hygiene & Cleanliness: If you are seeing someone everyday or every other day, you start to notice a few things…like their intoxicating scent and how well-groomed they are…or not. Along with how they take care of themselves and their bodies, you begin to notice how they treat their stuff—are they reckless or neat-freaks? This topic speaks for itself and it can be a deal-breaker for a lot of people, especially if good hygiene and cleanliness is important to you.
3. Finances: Money, no matter how long you’re dating someone is something that comes up from the beginning, starting with who’s paying? As you get closer with someone, money becomes a big presence and you begin to realize the impact that it has. More so, you realize if the person that you’re with is frugal, or careless with his money? Does he drop money without a blink of an eye, or is he a little more thoughtful about how he spends? Regardless of how much money is involved, there is a lot to be said about how a person spends their dollars.
4. Diet: If you’re going out with a person and hanging with them a significant amount, you begin to note their eating habits. Are they healthy or do they love greasy food? Is he a big drinker or smoker? If your BF is a healthy eater then it could be really great for you, but if he’s not…beware! You don’t want to end up consuming countless calories or start a bad habit.
5. Time Management: Although it may not be an obvious factor, time management is extremely important and it does say a lot about a person and it directly affects YOU. If someone isn’t great at managing their time and constantly leaving things for the last minute, then that means you might not get a lot of time with that person. So think about it: does your guy balance out his day or are his days completely chaotic and what does it mean for you?
6. Hobbies: If it’s not something you already know, as you get closer to your man, you will come to learn what he loves to do for fun! Whether it’s reading and writing, playing video games, drawing or playing basketball—his hobbies will become clear as your time together goes on. And if your hobbies overlap, then who knows, you might get a chance to do your favorite activities together!
7. Baggage: Everyone comes with baggage (even you) and definitely your boyfriend! As you date, you will slowly discover more about his romantic and sexual past, whether or not you want to actually know about it. A big part of how your partner treats you has to do with how he’s treated the women that have come before you. Sooner or later, you will learn about his ex-girlfriends—the ones who he left behind, the crazy ones and the ones who have broken his heart. When this happens, just remember, you have a past too, so be comforting and understanding.
8. Knowledge: My favorite thing about getting to know a person is learning what they know. Is your boy book-smart, street-smart or both? Is he able to teach you about his world and vise versa, or are you both smarty-pants and know about the same things? Uncovering the knowledge that somebody has is incredibly stimulating and sexy and it can keep the relationship rolling on a mental level.
9. Friends and Family: When you date someone, part of dating them is getting to know their friends and family. Your family has an incredible impact on the kind of person that you turn out to be, so whether you get the chance to meet them or hear about them, make sure you observe closely because chances are that your man is how he is because of how is family is. While you don’t get to choose your family, you do get to choose your friends. There’s an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda says, “You can tell everything about a person by who their friends are.” Although the statement is quite a claim, it does hold some truth. Are the friends of your significant other supportive, rambunctious, funny, sweet or rude? Are they people that you would want to hang out with if he weren’t around? Friendship is very important so whoever your guy chooses to be friends with definitely says a bit about him.
10. Priorities: While you’re involved with a person, you begin to get a sense of what’s important to them. This might include their friends and family, if they’re a student, school might be on top of the list, or if they’re money-hungry, all they might care about is work. It’s important to remain aware of what your guy deems to be important because it can be an indication of what the future holds. And you also want to make sure that you’re on the priority list somewhere, because you are important!
These are just a couple of things that I have picked up on, but I want to hear from you! What are some other things that you begin to discover about your partner when you’re becoming more serious with them?